Maintaining Distance Marriages

Distance marriage refers to a situation where wife and husband are physically separated from each other for a substantial period of their life due to unavoidable circumstances. Earlier, distance marriages were only experienced by people in the defense sector. But now, it is becoming an increasing phenomenon for everyone as people are required to go far away from their homes for work.

Maintaining Distance Marriages

In such type of marriage, wife usually spends a substantial part of her life upbringing the children. She either stays alone or with any other member of the family. Husband normally comes home on a holiday, generally for few days, once or twice a year. His role only gets reduced to that of a bread earner. In many cases, the husband is deprived of the happiness of seeing his children growing. Despite a happy union, both the partners live a lonely life. They feel lonelier in tough times when they miss each other the most.


Maintaining a distance marriage is a challenging task. Patience, perseverance, and a positive attitude are the three virtues needed to survive this arrangement.


A regular and frequent communication is essential to sustain the spark of marriage. The couples should discuss each and every detail of their daily happenings through phone or e-mail. They should talk about new people they meet in their location and also seek advice on handling situations. This help the partners feel that they are still important in each other’s life. Fortunately, the advancement in technology has introduced software that allows partners to see each other while chatting on the Internet. Moreover, indulge in personal talks that will keep the affection alive in the relationship.


Distance leads to insecurity and sometimes doubt because partners do not see each other personally most of the time. Therefore, any sudden change in the daily communication routine or behavior can naturally put your partner in doubt. To avoid such circumstances, be prompt in taking calls and replying to e-mails. Inform your partner in advance about your schedule that might not make it possible to communicate. This assures the partners that they are still a part of each other’s life.


Surprise your partner by sending a gift, letter, or coming home without informing. It makes your partner happy and excited about you. If possible, you can also arrange a ticket for your partner and ask him or her to make a short visit.

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Court Marriage

Court marriage, also known as registered marriage, is a legal way of solemnizing a relationship. They take place across different countries as per the marriage laws and legal procedures of that country.

Opting for a court marriage is an increasing trend among the Indian urban youth. Such marriages have a number of advantages over traditional marriages. Some of them are mentioned here.

Court Marriage

Though India is considered to be a poor nation but here marriage is an expensive affair. People waste huge sums of money on decorations, parties, and gifts in an attempt to demonstrate their financial strength and impress people. Court marriages are far away from the pomp and show of a regular marriage. It helps in avoiding such grand wastage of money that can be utilized for a constructive purpose.


As it is inexpensive, it does not put unnecessary burden on a girl’s parents to bear the expenses of the marriage. This indirectly helps in reducing female infanticide by people who fear inability to meet the marriage expenses.

The expectation of dowry also gets minimized in legally solemnized marriages. Dowry is an evil that is still prevalent in our country. A court marriage is a way of eradicating them from our social system.

Moreover, India is a religious-centric country. Normally, there are conflicts over rituals and customs in social events like marriage. These conflicts, sometimes, affect the relationship between the families or the couple. Hence, court marriages help in doing away from such harassment. The couple simply has to reach the court on a given date along with the required witnesses. Then, they sign their names on a register in front of the registrar. Each of the partners finally gets a marriage certificate.

Moreover, such marriages are legally binding on both the partners. Marriage certificate is a legal evidence of the existence of a marriage. It is especially useful for girls who can claim their rights from the marriage on the basis of the certificate.

However, in India, a couple who got married through traditional rites and customs can get their marriage registered either under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 or under the Special Marriage Act, 1954. The Hindu Marriage Act is enforceable in situations where both the partners are Hindus, Buddhists, Jains or Sikhs or where they have converted into any of these religions. In cases, where they don’t belong to the above religions, their marriage is registered under the Special Marriage Act, 1954.

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Causes of Failed Marriages

India still boasts of the lowest divorce rate of 1.1 percent in the world. However, rapid modernization and awareness of legal rights is leading to an increase in the number of failed marriages. According to the findings of a statistical survey, the divorce rate in Delhi, the capital city of India has almost doubled from 2006 to 2010 and is projected to be around 15000 by the year 2015.

Causes of Failed Marriages

The cases of failed marriages are mainly found in urban areas. This is because women, traditionally considered to be a subdued gender of an Indian society, are now financially empowered to take care of themselves and their children independently. She is no longer at the mercy of her husband and his family for survival. Moreover, women are now exposed to the outside world. They are doing jobs that were earlier done by men. This way they are


getting more confident in handling their lives. It, therefore, becomes difficult to treat them like salves and make them agree to ones whims and fancies. This is one the greatest cause of failed marriages.


Some of the other causes that eventually lead to separation are:


The prevalence of open work culture and late working hours has increased intimacy between male and female colleagues that sometimes lead to extramarital affairs. If such relationships do not die a natural death, then it can lead to the end of a marriage. Universally, infidelity is a prime cause of separation between the partners.

Forced marriages

Children who are married at a very young age are still evolving their personalities. When they grow up and find a stark difference in their personality with that of their partners, they want to move out of the marriage and find a new compatible partner for themselves. Sometimes, parents emotionally blackmail their children to marry a girl or boy of their choice. Such marriages that take place out of coercion and not love may not work.

Family issues

Frequent fights between couples over issues around family members sour the relationship and widen the communication gap between husband and wife.

Financial matters

Two individuals generally do not have the same spending pattern. Conflicts over finances are prevalent in urban families where needs are more than the available financial resources.


Ego hassles and taken-for-granted attitude towards each other is a slow poison that kills a happy marriage. Lack of quality time spent together is another common cause.

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Remarriages in India

Modernization and technological advancement has led to a great divide between the urban India and the rural India. The urban India is evolving dynamically whereas the rural India is still struggling in its rigid society. One of the developments in the urban society is an upsurge in the number of remarriages of both boys and girls. India is overall a conservative society that is normally against remarriages, live-in relationships, divorce, and extreme age-difference marriages. However, the traditional notions of the society cannot prevent remarriages out of choice and not force.

imageAn increase in the divorce rates has invariably led to an increase in remarriages. People are no longer hesitant to marry openly their new-found love with great pomp and show. There is no regret or remorse of a failed first marriage. The attitude is to forget it as a bad dream and move ahead in life. Moreover, finding a new partner is no longer difficult. One can find a dedicated column on remarriages in newspapers, a separate link on matrimonial websites, and marriage bureaus handling such type of cases.

These days frequent partying and weekend vacations offer great opportunities for people to meet and foster new relationships. This helps people find life partners for themselves. They can spend ample time with each other before deciding to marry. On the other hand, an arranged remarriage does not give enough scope for interaction before saying ‘yes’ to the union. As a result, the partner who has already gone through the trauma of a failed marriage may not be sure of his new choice.

Traditionally, remarriages were meant mainly for boys. It was a common belief that a woman can remain single and spend her life with her kids whereas a man needs to remarry as he cannot take care of himself. This notion is undergoing a drastic change as educated population realizes that both boy and girl have the right to remarry and re-live their lives.

The grim aspect is that remarriages are seen as an easy way out to escape the problems arising from any marriage. Couples are jumping to divorce proceedings without making efforts to save their marriage. Therefore, even if they marry again, they may face the same problems with this kind of an attitude. However, in India, a person can remarry only after seeking divorce from his first partner. This in some way helps in curbing the misuse of remarriages.

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Importance Of An Old Age Marriage

Marriage is normally seen as a union between two young people across the world. In India also, the search for a bride or groom normally starts the moment a child attains majority. However, have you ever thought that even old people have the right to remarry? Most of you would have never given it a thought. Even if you had, then the very concept would have made you uncomfortable.

You can think from the other perspective. Old people, who have lost their partner, have already fulfilled their responsibilities of upbringing their children, settling them in their career, and finally marrying them. The children are busy handling the challenges of their own life. They hardly have any time to spend with their parents. Some of the children are not even staying with their parents. Though grandchildren in many cases turn out to be a big support system but that does not last long due to long hours in schools followed by activity classes, exams, and so on.

Importance Of An Old Age Marriage

Now imagine the loneliness of an old parent who has nobody with whom he can share his life, inner feelings, and problems. Therefore, many old people fostered the courage to voice their desire to marry. Some could manage to wither the storm of resentment from the society whereas others gave up and lived with embarrassment.

Despite a conservative attitude to old age marriages, they are on a rise in urban India. Old people normally do not go out of their way to search for a partner. They normally come across such individuals in social gatherings. The marriage is arranged on a low-scale with few family members and friends. Alternatively, court marriages are considered to be an ideal way of marrying in such cases.

Such marriages take place mainly to fulfill the need of companionship and security. However, the interests of children are always kept first while taking the decision to marry or not. If any harm or inconvenience to them is foreseeable, then old people sacrifice their own wish.

After the marriage, depending upon the comfort level of the children, the couple decides to stay with them or separately. Normally, legalities relating to inheritance of assets are worked out earlier to avoid the possibility of dispute between step brothers and sisters. Some people belonging to affluent families marry and move abroad to avoid stinging remarks of people or abandonment from the society in extreme cases.

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Evils of Child Marriage

Child marriage is a type of marriage in which either the boy or the girl or both are minors. A girl below 18 years of age and a boy less than 21 years is considered to be a minor. It is a violation of human rights whether it happens to a boy or a girl. ‘Child marriages happen only in India.’ This statement is a myth. As per a report by UNICEF, globally 36 percent of the women between the age group 20-24 years were married as minors. Evils of Child Marriage

Child marriage is the most prevalent form of girl child exploitation in India. At an age where they are still exploring themselves, they are forced to behave like matured adults and take charge of responsibilities. When they fail to perform at their tender age, they are either rebuked or abandoned by the family. Moreover, girls are separated from their friends and family. They are restricted within the walls of the house. They cannot interact much with their parents, peers, and neighbors. Most of them give up their education to take part in household work. They are taught to be obedient and submissive.

Young girls also become victims of sexual abuse and harassment. Neither can they insist their husband on taking precautions nor can they refuse his demand for physical relationship. This leads to premature pregnancy. It is estimated that around 14 million girls between the ages of 15 and 19 give birth each year. In most of the cases, both boy and girl are not aware of serious health risks like HIV/AIDS and other transmitted diseases.

In a country where around 26 percent of the population is below poverty line, parents opt for child marriages out of economic necessity. Minor girls are married to older men in lieu of money or land. Some parents see it as a way to protect their girls from lecherous eyes of landlords, prevent inter-caste affairs, and shift their burden on another person.

The government of India has enforced ‘The Prohibition of Child Marriage Act 2006 (PCMA)’ to make such marriages a legal offence. Simultaneously, many NGOs are working to make its followers aware of the evils of such marriages. Despite all the efforts, child marriages are still widely prevalent in many parts of the country, especially in rural areas. The only way to discourage such practice is to bring about a change in the outlook of people.

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Love Marriages in India

Love marriage is no longer a new concept in Indian culture. It is still tabooed in small towns and cities but the phenomenon is witnessed largely in urban and semi-urban areas. Irrespective of caste, creed, culture, and status, more and more people are opting for such form of union. A marriage is called a love marriage when a boy or a girl love each other, decide to marry, and introduces their partner to their respective family members. Here, an individual’s likes takes precedence over the preference of the parents. Remember that marrying a person of your own choice is a challenging task in our society. One needs immense emotional strength and convincing power to seek family’s consent for the wedding. Love Marriages in India

Considering the rigidity of our social system, there are a number of issues that oppose love marriages. The most important issue is the possibility of a caste or religion difference between the families. Parents are reluctant to send their children in an alien cultural setting fearing that they might find difficult to adjust in a new culture. Moreover, other issues like financial and status differences might spoil the marital relationship later in life. Even today, any problems in horoscope compatibility make parents oppose the marriage. A love marriage can also become unsuccessful if the partners are merely infatuated and not in love with each other. In some cases, if they had spent little time together and hardly know each other well, then such marriages fall when reality sets in.

Love marriages also have a brighter side. If two people, who love each other a lot and decide to live together for the rest of their lives, can overcome all problems with great ease. Moreover, every individual has a right to know the person well before tying the nuptial knot. Such marriages provide an opportunity to know about the temperament, ambitions, and expectations of the person before the marriage. Love marriage easily does away with the dowry practice. Parents are not under any obligation to fulfill each other’s expectations. It also helps to instill bonding and understanding between the partners much before the wedding.

As parents are becoming sensitive to their children’s feelings, a new trend of love-cum- arranged marriages have become popular in the country. Children choose the partner and the parents accept their choice and arrange for the wedding ceremony. The ceremony is almost same like an arranged marriage but without any strict protocols.

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Arranged Marriages in India

Arranged marriages have been an integral part of the Indian tradition since ages. In India, family values and expectations take precedence over individual preferences even in matters like marriage. A marriage is termed as arranged when family members select a boy or a girl for their child, and the child is expected to marry their choice without any question. In an ideal arranged marriage, courtship period is not allowed. Selection of a partner is based upon similarities between culture, values, and financial strength of the two families trying to strike a new relationship.


The other people involved in this match-making activity can be marriage agents, priests, matrimonial sites or trusted family members or friends. The compatibility between the boy and the girl is gauged by matching their horoscopes and other credentials.

In ancient times, the bride and the groom met each other for the first time only on the day of their wedding. They were neither informed about their partner nor were they allowed to chat before marriage. However, over a period of time, the institution of arranged marriage has undergone a change. Now, parents look for a suitable match and seek consent of their child. After a formal engagement ceremony, the boy and the girl can chat on phones and meet often before their wedding. This makes it easier for them to open up and develop bonding and understanding.

The marriage ceremony is solemnized as per the rites and rituals of the families. The protocol for entertaining the guest is extremely formal. Utmost care is taken by the girl’s side to show extreme hospitality to the boy’s family to avoid any discontentment.

Arranged marriages are preferred because both the families come together to save the marriage when problems arise between spouses. The onus of a successful marriage falls on the parents and not on their children. Secondly, it is believed that compatibility between families makes it easier for children to quickly adjust to a new environment. They are protected from adjustment problems that arise due to caste, status, financial, and cultural differences.

Such type of marriages also has flaws. The partners may not know each other well before marriage. They are influenced by their family members to remain formal during the courtship period. Opinion conflicts and ego clashes may arise when they start living together forcing them to part ways. Dowry is another evil integral to this marriage system.

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Attitude towards Inter-Caste Marriages In India

‘Unity in Diversity’ is a statement commonly used to refer to India. It means that though India has a rich heritage of different cultures, castes, and religions yet it is united in its feeling of being an Indian. Such feel-good statements are generally used in newspapers, magazines, talk shows, etc. to show the brighter side of the nation. However, the reality is quite different. India is a country that witnesses caste conflicts through communal riots, atrocities on the lower caste, and opposition to inter-caste unions.

Attitude towards Inter-Caste Marriages In India

Inter-caste marriage is one such union where the staunch castiest nature of people comes on the surface. It has challenged the strong foundation of the institution of arranged marriages. Inter-caste marriage is an arrangement where a boy and a girl belonging to different caste decide to enter into wedlock. As per the rural culture of small towns and villages, marriage or even an intention to marry a person of different caste brings disgrace to the family of both the boy and the girl. Family members don’t hesitate to kill their beloved brother or sister, son or daughter, niece or nephew in order to set an example for others and save the family from disgrace. Such honor killings speak about the sad state of real India.

However, urban India has still accepted the concept of cross marriage to an extent. Such types of marriages are on a rise in metro cities because more and more females are going out to study or work. As a result both boys and girls get an opportunity to mingle with each other, which in turn, may lead to relationships more than friendships. Secondly, financial independence, and exposure at an early age has empowered the youth to take critical decisions of their lives independently. They are not dissuaded by the fear of been disowned by their families. On the other hand, parents fear separation from children if they oppose the union. In most of the cases, parents then accept the liking of their children for their happiness and for saving the family bonding.

A certain section of people, irrespective of their caste, creed, and status have started realizing that a successful marriage sustains on mutual understanding and compatibility. It is not imperative that the partners have to belong to the same culture to know each other better. Today, there are many cases where people belonging to two different cultures are living happily.

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Changing Trends in Indian Marriage

The Indian society is undergoing a drastic change due to economic prosperity and the Internet revolution that has exposed people to social trends prevalent across the world. Marriage has turned out to be the most revolutionized institution of our conservative Indian society. The way people perceive marriage, organize ceremonies, take vows, and build relationships are changing in tandem leading to a new face of the Indian society.

Changing Trends in Indian MarriageTraditionally, parents found the match for their children and the marriage was formalized strictly as per the rituals. The ceremonies were very formal and the objective was to please the boy’s family as much as possible. Today, many children are choosing their own partners and prefer opting for court marriages to avoid arguments over rituals between the families. In other cases, parents accept their children’s choice and take charge of solemnizing the relationship with utmost pomp and show.


Earlier, the boy and the girl were not allowed to meet before the marriage. They saw each other only on the day of marriage. Eventually, it gave way to phone chats and then few meetings in the presence of a family member before the marriage. But today in the 21st century, both the partners try to spend maximum time together. They even buy their marriage trousseau together and spend long hours chatting on phone.

Unlike yesterday, many girls are working before marriage and they put forward their condition to continue working after marriage. As a result, girls are managing both their personal and professional lives smoothly. This, in turn, has dissolved the demarcation between gender roles. Today, boys are equally involved in household chores as girls. On the other hand, girls are also providing financial support in time of need.

As joint family system is being replaced by nuclear families, the closeness and the level of comfort between the partners is increasing. They have ample space to talk and strengthen their relationships. In a joint system, the partners spent very few hours together because of lack of space due to a large number of members in the family. This acted as a bottleneck in removing communication gap between the couple.

An increase in the women employment ratio and the number of women-centric laws has led to the empowerment of women financially and mentally. Now, it is not easy to subject her to any sort of harassment because she is equipped with all the means to live an independent life.

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